33
Musings
This is how many turns I have done around the sun. Life after so many turns feels like it has not been enough. I look back at my teenage self or even my adult 20 something self and I have come such a long way. Yet, life still does not feel fully settled and feels uncertain. I bought my first home this year which I have been enjoying so much. It feels very aligned in terms of what I was manifesting and its beautiful features makes me smile and happy. I feel settled in terms of having my own space, my own little corner of this spinning Earth. The unsettled and uncertain feeling that I was mentioning previously was more to do with my work and purpose and contributions to society. Right now, it has materialised that I still have not found my purpose and that I still have not found my calling and have still not found the thing that I am meant to be doing until I am 80 years old. I also realised that maybe I am not built like others - whenever I have mentioned working until I am 80 years old to others, they look shocked to me. I wonder if maybe they are not happy in their own fields of work. My grandfather is 80 years old and is still working and loves his work. I must add that he is a rich man and works because he enjoys his work rather than because he wants to work and I absolutely love that about him! He is an expander for me. I think I just haven’t found my niche yet. But I am 33 years old, what am I doing? Why haven’t I found it yet? What am I doing with my life?